Although you may be convinced that moving to an assisted living facility or a memory care facility is the best place for your mom or dad, getting them to agree to move may be difficult, they may have objections to assisted living.
The last thing anyone wants is to have arguments and tension between family members.
It is so important to communicate care and concern, but also the best solutions to solve the problems you’re facing.
The best start is to name problems
Here are some issues that need to be addressed:
- Current home setting that is too difficult to manage like stairs, bathtubs, deferred maintenance, etc.
- Declining neighborhoods that are not as safe and supportive as they once were
- Home value decreasing as the property is not being cared for adequately
- Isolation, loneliness, and depression
- No longer able to drive safely
- Simple tasks such as grocery shopping, lawn mowing, trips to the doctor require family time they may not have
- The risk of falling and not having anyone present to help
- Memory issues becoming dangerous including difficulty in cooking safely
- Medication administration being accurate and timely.
As these issues are discussed then solutions can be weighed.
Is it possible to arrange home health or private duty to solve the problems?
In the early stages of elder care, a private duty company is able to provide remedies for some of these issues, but at some point, it becomes cost-prohibitive.
The national average for a Kansas City home health or private duty help is $19 an hour with a minimum of 4-hour blocks of time.
If an individual wanted help for 8 hours a day for 5 days a week that would be approximately $3040 a month. If around the clock care is needed, you could more than double that cost. In addition, there would still be living expenses at home.
In comparison, the average Assisted Living in Kansas City is approximately $3900 a month with all other living expenses wrapped in including housing, meals, assistance with medications, socialization opportunities, and emergency assistance at all times.
What are the real objections to assisted living?
What do Elders really fear about moving from their current homes?
Nursing homes in Kansas City or anywhere in the United States are burdened with terrible reputations from years ago. Many Elders have had experience with those types of depressing nursing facilities and are deeply fearful of being left in such a place even though newer communities bear no resemblance.
A major fear that seniors have is losing control over their lives. They may think their daily life will be driven by someone else’s schedule and they’ll have no choices.
They may fear that they will be isolated from family and friends and no one will come to visit them.
Perhaps they fear that an Assisted Living facility is a place where everyone is sick and dying.
The move itself can feel overwhelming and seem like an impossible task.
How can these fears be addressed?
When the real fears are opened up it is easier to address them with logical answers.
Simply going to tour an Assisted Living Community can do a lot to relieve fears. Many of their preconceived notions can be dispelled quickly.
Visiting with other residents gives Elders a chance to ask questions and hear directly from someone living there.
Helping the mom or dad create a list of questions about their concerns like meal scheduling, assigned seating, times to go to bed and wake, etc. to determine how much independence a resident maintains is a good idea.
That list can be addressed while touring a community.
A candid conversation about family visits will help relieve fears of abandonment.
Oftentimes it is much easier for family members to visit when they know there are no home chores that need to be done. Precious time can be spent together instead of mowing the lawn or doing maintenance jobs.
Overcoming objections can only be accomplished when mom or dad understand the importance of moving and their real fears are understood.
The two goals are to identify why the move is a good idea and necessary and then to understand why they feel frightened about the future. Taking the time to go through these conversations is important to overcoming objections to assisted living and can make the transition much easier.
If the decision has been made to move to assisted living, don’t hesitate to schedule a tour, at The Piper we’re a safe and caring place for your loved one, and we’re Kansas City’s only household model.